Sanity is the goal.
What can I say
about this semester to sum it all up?
Let’s start with “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” and let me
tell you, this semester has sure tried to kill me. Between school, health, family and all the
dark forces, I am amazed to still be in one piece. As far as health goes, I think I have caught
every possible germ out there at some time during this semester. I have battled sinus infections, a root canal
and projectile vomiting. I have missed
more days this semester than I ever have in the past, really, you can check.
Family
has been another issue. I have said to
myself, many times this year that my kids were born to kill me. I am a female living with four boys (husband
included as he often acts more like a child) and they test my sanity
daily. I have dealt with zombies, potty
training (not potty training zombies but trying to potty train a 2-year-old who
can’t stop fighting the zombies long enough to use the potty) and a hormonal
15-year-old. In between those two, I
have a 6-year-old who is more emotional than I am (and that is saying a
lot). It is his first year in
kindergarten and I have been getting notes almost daily from his teacher regarding
his lack of coping skills. Really, I am
in college and I am having trouble with my coping skills. The final string this last holiday was my
grandmother falling and having to spend three weeks in the hospital. She is due home this week and I am
rearranging the whole house to make sure we can accommodate her needs.
School
has definitely had its ups and downs as well.
I began this semester with the best attitude and much excitement. About one month into the semester my CT had a
family situation that changed her semester, as well as mine. The semester I had planned turned ugly on the
day she told me to sit down and wait until she was ready to speak with me. I will not dwell on that, as I now get to
work with a wonderful teacher who demonstrates skills that I am not used
to. She is very soft spoken and
humorous, as well as very knowledgeable about teaching tools and methods. As life often revolves in circles, I am once
again excited about the upcoming semester.
We just finished reading The Lord
of the Flies in our Freshman class and I am reminded that, well, at least
no one has died yet.
When
I sit and ponder all that has happened this semester and the complete fear that
overwhelms me when I consider all that is involved in the KPTP for next
semester, I have to tell myself to stop and just breath. The thought that I began with, the “what does
not kill you makes you stronger” is not even the driving force in my thoughts
anymore. I have switched to a new
mantra. Please Lord, just let me still be sane when I get through. I told my mother that when and if I graduate
this May, please be sure to tuck my diploma into my straight jacket as they
haul me off to the padded room so that I have a reminder of why it was all
worth it. I know that the people I work
with at the bookstore think I have already crossed over into the insanity, but
I still have a slight grip left. So if
you pass me in the halls and I am mumbling to myself and have a wild look in my
eyes, just be kind.
